But can he do the Fandango?
Swiping Sean Spicer to the side like he probably kicked dogs as a kid, Anthony Scaramucci took the podium — as well as Spicer’s job — on Friday with the flare and fury of a TV pitchman. All that was missing was a set of Hot Hands and a Sensei Slicer.
Not that it was hard to knock Spicer off that podium. The guy always looked like he was holding onto it tighter than Hillary held onto the coffee table when they had to leave the White House.
Sniveling Sean generally presented like a man who was shocked to have gotten the gig in the first place and knew that any day some bully was going to knock him the hell out.
Bingo! You don’t always get what you deserve, but you usually get what you THINK you deserve.
But as in all things Trump, Spicer immediately went to the off-site White House pressroom, aka Fox News, to spin his fake news tale to Trump’s other press secretary Sean Hannity.
See, Spicer said, he wasn’t fired, he voluntarily resigned for the good of the department.
How to Make the Ride Last
And my thighs are too thin for my own good, too.
Problem is since Trump booted FBI Director James Comey, the once hilarious catchphrase, “You’re fired!” has become as funny as a bad case of herpes. Now heads will fall voluntarily and “You’re fired!” will become, “You’re resigned!”
Further fake news on the Spicer-Scaramucci front, is how the press has — probably because he’s Italian-American — taken to describing Scaramucci as a guy who plays up his blue collar Port Washington, Long Island, background.
Yes, Scaramucci, is a proud Italian-American who worked in the sand mines of Long Island with his dad. But make no mistake, Port Washington’s median household income isn’t exactly blue collar — unless everyone there is a plumber. It’s $106,682.
The new communications director is also is a Harvard Law grad and a guy who can outwit the best of ’em. Nor, does he have to work as a mouthpiece — even for the President — so don’t expect sweaty brows and regurgitating Trump’s words like he’s got a stomach virus.
Yes, Scaramucci IS everything we hate about arrogant Wall Streeters — and less. At his first news conference, his body language was so aggressively Wall Street, he looked like Gordon Gekko as played by Donald Trump Jr.
But Scaramucci is brilliant and smarter than his predecessor — and probably everyone else in the White House — especially his disgraceful underling, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
He’s not just a hedge fund guy, but one of the owners of the Hunt & Fish Club, a 9,000-square-foot steakhouse in Midtown Manhattan.
Trust me, this guy’s not in it for the money. He’s in it the power. But not as press schnook, but as the guy with all the power in the world one day.
Like I said, you don’t always get what you deserve, but you usually get what you THINK you deserve.